"Sacrifice...

PG-13

Summary: William is not the only fool for love...


Play theme (Barbara Allen)

LA...A week from now...

"I don't understand it...Will, why?..." Buffy sighed...Standing in the doorway of his new apartment, a rather posh, if basement, place in downtown LA, well-befitting the newest associate partner in LA's hottest law firm...

"I called and called ever since Angel contacted Giles in England...I wrote, I telegraphed...Why wouldn't you answer back?..."

I like the light brown, by the way...she smiled at him...Lots more natural than the ole peroxide...

He frowned, shrugging... "Girl, I thought it was best...I made a sacrifice...It was best to keep it unspoiled..."

And our corporate hairdresser told me the peroxide was gradually affecting my skin...

Bullshit...she glared back...Though I'll keep it in mind about the peroxide...

"Not that I ever..." "Of course not..." he nodded...

"Harmony says..." she began...

"So now you're turning to Harmony Kendall...Undead Harm K...For advice?..."

"No one else would help...Angel mumbled embarrassed crap about not telling me being his way of keep me from pain...Giles didn't want me to come...Even Dawn was fuming when I left London..."

How's my accent by the way?... "Cheerios...er Cheerio..."

"Great...So what does our office oracle say?..."

"You're angry at me...And the 'sacrifice' crap is just that...Sounded right on the money to me...Why, William?...I didn't know you were back...I would have come if I did..."

And how's about inviting me in?...she looked at him...Or are you still contemplating slamming the door in my face?...

"Fine, entrez-vous..." he waved her in...Closing the door behind her...

"Doing well, I see..." she beamed... "Angel says you're both enrolled at UCLA...Getting that old degree at last, huh?..."

"Yeah...Though naturally we all...Gunn, Wyndham-Price, Angel, Walthrop...Use phony documentation with the firm..."

"Maybe I should ask 'Mr.' Angel to take me on...Mom would be proud to know I was a lawyer...At least in name..."

Tea?...he offered...Or something else?...

"Tea's fine...Got anything to munch?...I've been going without since I left the plane..."

Sure...Have a seat...He went over to the kitchen... "Really nice place!..." she called, eyeing the furniture...Really nice place, indeed...But a little less Spike somehow...A few more Williamish (she supposed) amenities...She took a seat on a rather old-fashioned sofa...Chintz slip covers?...

Williamish indeed...

"Giles said you'd been considering Cambridge..." he returned with cups and plates...She nodded...

"But since a few days ago...I've been thinking about UCLA..." she eyed him... "Nice to have you guys and the new Council ready to get me in anywhere I want...Hope I can handle wherever I decide..."

He went back to the kitchen...She following...Let me help...she took the pot as he pulled it off the stovetop...Looking at him carefully as she said the words...

"You certainly deserve to go anywhere you wish, Slayer...And I think you'll manage..." he led her back, bearing sugar, cream, and a plate of cookies...Those look homemade?...she eyed him...Winifred, he nodded...Our Willow, Jr. has hidden talents...

Oh...?...A slight, but definite darkening look...

"So..." she took her seat and waited for him to pour... "Why...?" she eyed him as he bent over her cup...

"The real reason or reasons, William...I damn well deserve..."

"Oh...?" he stared back sharply...And pouring his own cup, sat beside her...

"You deserve to hear my reasons for not answering your calls?...Or coming out to London?...Fine, then..."

"I wasn't lying about wanting to keep my 'sacrifice' such as it was...Pure...I gave up any hope of you when I chose to die...Even the faint hope you might take pity on me..."

She stood up... "That's..." her face reddened...Fists clenched...

But she calmed in an instant... "It was not... 'Pity'...William..." she sat... "Fair enough..." he looked at the wall, avoiding her gaze...

"But lets review...After the chip...Somehow...Spike came to love you...Sentimental I may be, but I was after all, there, and I choose to believe it was something of me...Of William, alive in him again...That led him to you...After Glory...After you were gone...He protected Dawn, for love of you...Hope of pleasing your soul..."

"Then you came back...And Spike did what little he could to help you...Until a miracle happened...And you found you really did need him...And whatever of me was alive in him again..."

"I...We've been over this...I've told you I..."



"You needed us...You took what you needed and we got an incredible return...I'm not complaining...Then you tried to do the right thing, break off...And we failed you, big time...Though I would call that William's failure to restrain Spike, not a fault of Spike, poor bastard thing...He'd done an amazing thing in coming to love and care for you...It was my failure in that case...I still wasn't strong enough..."

"Will..."

"Then we...And again I choose to say we...Gave it our all...Went for the do-or-die, hung it all out for love...And won...I was back in the saddle again, a living soul...Though still a few minor problems, including the vamp body and being a freakin' nutcase, which left me an easy mark for the First..."

"And you came back...To be with me..."

"And you left me in a basement, next to the Hellmouth, insane...But I understand...You had big issues with me and the First on your back...You thought it was best not to get involved at first...But, thank God for me, you finally did come..."

"I dreamed of you all that time...Kept seeing you...The First tried to fill in for you but she couldn't quite beat out my dream of you..." he smiled... "And at last, you did come and bring me out..."

"It wasn't easy, Will...You know it wasn't an easy decision...And not just me to consider..."

"I know...You asked me my reasons, remember?...You want to hear or no?..."

Yeah...she nodded... "Tell Fred her cookies are great, by the way..."

Yeah... "So...Then you helped me get hold of myself, we sort of agreed our future wasn't exactly a together thing...You do remember that?..."

"Things were up in the air, Will...I couldn't tell what would happen tomorrow...And you were the one who insisted you realized there wasn't a picket fence in your future...But things..."

"Yet you let me out and about, encouraged me even to see other girls...Human girls...Whom, thanks to my little 'Manchurian Candidate' sessions with the First, I murdered and transformed til you caught on...I still gotta wonder about that, Buf..."

"I couldn't keep you from living your new life...I...Guess...I wasn't being very bright...Things were a mess just then..." she hastily went on... "But I did help you after that...Will, you gotta give me that..."

"I do...Buffy...Not only did you save me from that...You came for me when the First decided I wasn't much shakes as a potential recruit...I knew you would come and you did, thank God...And you gave me my chance to redeem myself...For William's weakness in caving to the First, not Spike I mean..."

"Then you told me..." he paused...

"Is that it?..." she eyed him... "Will...?"

"You needed Spike back to fight with you...You wanted Spike and his 'killer' edge..." he sighed...

Poor ole Will wasn't much use to you, I guess...

"I didn't think about it...William, I needed all the help I could get...I only meant..."

"It's fine..." he waved a hand... "It hurt but I dealt...And Spike I'm sure must have been quite pleased...Whatever corner of Hell he's now stuck in..."

And you did come to me after that...Let me...William...Comfort you...You even...Very kindly...he smiled...

"I meant what I said...I wanted to see where things might go...I don't lie, Will...Never to you at least...And I needed William, not Spike then...I wanted William..."

I want William...she looked up at him...

"You said you loved me...When it was nearly the end...I was grateful, Buffy...I even thought you meant some..."

"I've never lied to you, William..." she stood up... "If I didn't handle it well, I'm sorry...Things were busy then..."

"You did what you had to do...And I believe you cared...That I... 'Had a place in your heart'...And I'm grateful..."

"But...Buf...Lets face it...If it had been me...You the one about to die...I would have clubbed you one, blasted the place apart, and dragged you to the surface...Maybe we wouldn't have made it but...I'm not saying that to accuse you...You were still the Slayer commander, you had responsibilities to the others and the world...But that's what I would've done...And I believe that you would have done it...If you truly..."

"I was afraid, Will...I hadn't worked it all out...But can you honestly say that I'd have done that for Angel?...Riley?..."

"Maybe not..." he paused... "But that's a problem for them to consider...My concern is with us...You didn't stay...And I believe someone who truly loves another...Would stay or die trying to get the loved one to safety...After securing the world's safety perhaps, but they would try..."

"Spike more or less 'died' for you Buf...William was ready to die...Maybe that's not really a major deal, considering how little we had to lose in dying...But..."

"You want me to die for you, is that it?...Well, hey..."

No, no...he shook his head, then smiled... "But I'm a good man, Buffy...And I want to be with someone capable of dying for me...Someone who would make a..." he grinned... "... 'Sacrifice'...for love of me..."

"You think I wouldn't...That I didn't?...All that year...The year before...When everyone..." she wiped tears away...

"Everyone wanted me to keep away from you...Destroy you...Everything in me, every instinct told me to kill you...Never to trust Spike...The murderer, the monster..."

"I understand...I...Don't want to hurt you, Buffy..." he hastily broke in... "I'm simply telling you why...And there is a little more, girl..."

Yeah?...

"It has always puzzled me why you never...I mean with access to Willow, a wiccan capable of reviving the dead...Never tried to help Angel...Course he never asked Willow to look into it...Maybe there was a two-way street operating there...But if you loved me, why didn't you ask her to help me?...Spike at least when you became his lover?...And to check me out, confirm to the others that I had a soul, a chance to be a man of sorts again...And when I died...Mystically...You never turned to her...You left, went to England, never looked back...Not even a memorial for me..."

Which I suppose is noble in a way...he smiled...You're not one to let any blow fell you...Which is fine...Grand...In a leader...

"But, in one's true love...In one a man...Like me, again...Or I think, a woman...Wants to have round them for their whole existence...Even if that existence must needs be cut short by a staking or sun exposure when the mortal beloved reaches their end...It's not quite the quality one seeks...Or needs..."

"You think...I didn't turn to Willow after you..." she eyed him... "That I didn't...That I'm not capable of making a sacrifice for you?...Or any one?...I..."

You sacrificed yourself for the world...For Dawn, who was a part of you...But...

"I spoke to Willow...But before she could do anything, she sensed...You back...And I called Angel...And he told me..." she was breaking down now...Buffy?...he rose...

"And you...You wouldn't take my calls, wouldn't speak to me...You think I didn't know what you were doing, what you were thinking?...That you thought I didn't...That I never could..." she paused...Standing again...

"You wanta see sacrifice, Mr. William Soames Walthrop?!..." she took demon face...He stared in shock...Buffy!...

"Of course I made sure Willow got your demon god to keep my soul in..." she smiled proudly...

***

Buffy...he stared at her, shaking his head...

"Convinced now?..."

"I...Say?...How the hell did you get my name?..."

"Pullease...Do you know how many nights I had to stay up to find that damned name through the Council and Cambridge University histories?...Talk about... 'sacrifice'...Dealing with your African friend was nothing by comparison..."

Actually it was, she admitted sheepishly... "He was so blown away by the chance to get a Slayer-vamp...Even with soul...He teleported to us in London at his own energy expense..."

"And Willow went along with this?..."

"For me to give her the place where I'd left Kennedy gagged and handcuffed?...Oh, yeah..."

***


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