"Lil Vamp Men...II"





Summary: Harmony got it right in LVM I...He took another sister...

PG-13...



"But...Buf..." Willow eyed her... "You made it clear to him...When he visited you in Europe..."

"I thought it was settled...He seemed to have accepted things..."

"Yeah...And obviously he did...But...Heck, Buf...The poor guy was crazy about you...And...He was stuck with the Immortality thing and all...I mean...This kinda makes..."

"He can't marry her!...The Buffy-bot?!..." Buffy fumed...

"Buf...Ummn...You were the one who agreed to my repairing her for him...Since you didn't think you and he..." her friend noted sheepishly...

"I just meant...As kind of a companion...To look after him...This is crazy!"

Hmmn...Well...Willow shrugged...Flashing back to her similar discussion with William the week before...

"Will...?" she'd eyed him... "You wanna what?!...Marry her!?...I only meant for Botty to make things a little easier for ya...Till you won full Humanity..."

And/Or had the good sense to move on from Buffy to somebody who could appreciate you...Maybe a kindly resouled Harmony or Dru?...Dawnie in ten or fifteen years, perhaps?...she did not say...

"Well, Red...I know...And I appreciate your caring but I've thought the whole matter through...And since I am likely to be stuck as a vamp for some time...Perhaps forever...And though quite willing to stake myself to stay with her at the end...Not likely to ever find Buffy offering anything with a future emotionally...Well..."

I've made up a list, see...he began...Pulling out a sheet of paper from his new writing desk...



Buffy-Has come to kind of care for me...In a way...Though a future, for us?...In her view at least...Please...

Botty-Worships the ground I walk on...A vamp husband?...No problem, though it's nice that I have the soul and won't be killing people...Though Willow's already put in a little Buffy 'attitude' and sass and intends to further upgrade her personality...She 'loves' me (as best she can right now) but not quite the ole doormat...

Buffy-Would almost certainly never consider a marriage proposal from me...Unless love-spelled...

Botty-Still dancing for joy over the faint suggestion of the idea I made...(Calm down, sweet...You'll blow a fuse...)

Buffy-99.9% unlikely we could have children fathered by yours truly...99.9% unlikely to ever consider it...

Botty-80% unlikely we could have children fathered by yours truly if Willow's belief in artificial womb development holds true...And we can actually harvest my DNA...100% eager to bear our children... (Stop pulling...I promise, we'll give it a try, dear heart...If I decide we should go ahead with the whole marriage thing...Now Botty, don't cry...Please...You know I love you, dear heart but it is a big decision...)

Buffy-Will live oh, say another century or so with that Slayer physiology and modern medical technology...Leaving me to either persuade her to accept some sort of human-souled transformation (unlikely) as she nears death...Or, if I don't reacquire Humanity in time, stake myself, do the unprotected sunlight thing (which would be acceptable, I must say) when she goes...

Botty-With upgrades and proper maintenance, potentially Immortal...And can only improve over the long haul as regards humanity and independent thought (see soul ref below)(Hmmn, what sweet?...You'd do what to Buffy to keep me from making the foolish mistake of trying again with her and needlessly sacrificing myself for someone who'll never care enough?...Well...Willow has done quite a job with you, sweet...)

Buffy-Has an independent human mind and soul

Botty-No soul, but enhancements to programming have improved personality considerably...According to my tech expert (Willow Rosenberg) future advances in artificial intelligence are likely to make something very similar to an independent mind, perhaps even a kind of soul, a distinct possibility over time...(Which is something we would both have plenty of...Yes, I know that, dear...Yes, I have noted it down...See?...)

Buffy-Not exactly the best educated, most well-read mind...Bit lazy intellectually...But clever and sharp, instinctively brilliant at times...Potentially an excellent leader...

Botty-Initially a bit dim, (Ow!...Dear heart?!...No offense intended!!...Honestly, sweet I was just referring to your past...Now there, there...No...I do not think you're dumb, pet...) but quite enhanced now and easily ungradable to a killer intellect as far as depth of knowledge and education goes (Now that's better, eh?)...(I'll finish this in the other room, Botty if you don't mind...Thanks) Perhaps a bit slow on the creative and instinctive end of things...But that may improve with advances in technology...Already an excellent manager, care-giver...

Buffy-High maintenance as to fashion and accessories...Though a bit more careful these days in regards to personal finances and money management...Not much expense currently as to food...

Botty-Would wear sackcloth and ashes if required...Not too sharp as to money-management and finances but easily upgradable...No expense as to food except for social purposes...

Buffy-Champion warrior, could defeat me or any opponent...Vulnerable over time however...

Botty-Good, able fighter, probably could be bested by me (hmmn...Something to be said for that, I actually could save her in the lesser fights on occasion) or our tougher big bads...Aging not a problem...Upgrades again possible over time...

Buffy-Sister and friends...All occasionally annoying...Devoted to them, though willing to sacrifice them for 'higher purposes' as required...

Botty-Sister and friends...Same notation as to annoyance and devotion...Would dump them all in a moment if I requested...But otherwise would never sacrifice a loved one unless reprogrammed...

Buffy-Universe-altering sexual capability...May withhold on occasion (sometimes by caprice)...Will likely decline with age...

Botty-Titanic sexual capability...May withhold on occasion as of Willow's reprogramming (but only if I let her down)...Will be screwing like a mink long after Buffy is dust...(I'm still finishing dear heart...Give me a mo...Be right with you...)

"Are getting my point, Red?..." Will paused in his reading...

Hmmn...



***

The wedding reception...A beaming Botty in bridal gown beside a rather dapper Will in groom suit greet their guests...

"Buffy..." Willow hissed to the somewhat annoyed-looking Slayer beside her... "Smiles for the happy couple...You were the one who didn't want to take the chance even after he returned...We've repaid him for what he did for you and Dawn and the world and that's that..."

"Harmony?!..." Willow eyed Harmony in her maid of honor gown as she passed...

Willow...Buffy...Harm coolly nodded to them, briefly pausing... "Everybody well these days?..."

Oops...Botty seeing, nudged William...Honey?...Hmmn?...Souled Harmony, Willow, my twin?...Potential scene at four o'clock?...Right, love...He hurried over...

"You look great, Harm..." Willow smiled, perhaps a bit nervously... "The soul suits you..."

"Yeah?...Well no thanks to you guys..." she glared back...Willow eyeing Buffy... "Jesus, if my salvation had been up to you..."

"Ummn...Busy times in Sunnydale then, Harm..." Willow noted, looking for someone to rescue her from Harmony's judgmental glare...Even Buffy looking just a bit...Guilty...

Maybe we shoulda done something...Maybe all that chuckling at Harmony the Vamp wasn't the most sensitive...

"Heard from Angel and Will how you managed to restrain yourself even soullessly..." Willow tried flattery... "Not even Spike did so well..." she noted...Yeah...Buffy nodded brightly...

Uh-huh...Harm eyed them coldly...The Wiccan who could've cursed or restored her in nothing flat...Who'd been in LA to help Angel...The Slayer who'd had the chance to give her peace multiple times and abandoned her to her grim fate...

And she'd been thinking, just before her death, that maybe she'd been wrong about these two...What with graduation and all...That it was time to reach out...

"Ladies..." Will reached them... "Harm, just wanted to say again, you look..."

"You left me like that!...How could you guys not at least have staked me?...You clowns thought Harmony the Vampire was some kind of big joke!...Comic relief!!..." she raged at the startled Willow and Buffy... "You...My own classmates...!!"

"Sure Spike and even William..." she gave Will a hard look... "Took advantage of me...But Botty and he were the ones who cared enough to help me get my soul back..."

"As for you...Jerks..." Harmony glared... "Just keep outta my human-souled way and for the Walthrops' sakes I'll leave you be...Otherwise..."

She stalked off, joining Botty as she greeted more guests...

Well...Will noted... "Poor kid's had a rough few years...And she was remarkable as a vamp...Certainly outdid me and Angel as to murder avoidance this last year..."

Yeah...Buffy nodded...Then beamed at him... "Say, Will?...Doesn't the original get to kiss the groom...?"

Oh, well...he smiled...Mmmphf...Choking a bit as she grabbed him in an intense lip-lock...Willow staring...Buf...Ummn...

"Hey, guys..." a instantly-arrived Botty wrenched the Slayer off... "Buffy, thanks for coming..." she beamed happily... "Please, can we have five together?...Dear human sister twin?...Hello, Willow, thanks for coming..." she pressed her hand... Hey...Willow smiled back...Helping a still Slayer-kiss-staggered William to his feet...

"Buffy..." Botty took her arm, rather insistently leading her off... "I really appreciate all you've done for me and William...You've made him very happy...And me, of course...Within the parameters Willow's been able to give me, naturally..."



But...He's mine now...And Willow fused my input systems so I could never be reprogrammed, say if Spike slipped back in somehow...You don't have to worry about me ever letting him take advantage of me...Not that my souled Will ever would...

"I see that you still have feelings for William...Which is very nice...But..." she pulled the Slayer behind a corner...

It's too late, girl...You had your chance...Threw it away...Tough... the robot eyed her twin coldly... "He's mine"...she repeated... "Of course you are stronger than me...But you sleep at night...I don't..." she noted... "And I'm really not all that concerned about the world retaining one of thousands of Slayers...My ability to handle moral relativity is still limited, you know?..."

"So...Back off...Sis..." a grim stare...Followed by a return to rather sweet Botty blink... "Unless you really want to go back to Heaven, Buffy?.." she asked, clearly sincere in her curiosity...

Ummn...Buffy blinked...

"Ok, then...Please come to dinner next week...I'll be making lasagna...And keep away from my William or never sleep peacefully again..." she patted her 'sis' and returned to William and her hostess duties...

A 'backed-off' Buffy eyed Willow coldly... "You did that, didn't you?..."

Hmmn?...Oh... "Well I thought I oughta continue making her a little more assertive...Mainly to keep Spike in line of course..." Willow gave an innocent gaze...To Botty, winking at her...

Oh, well...Buffy sighed, eyeing the intensely happy Walthrops...And caught sight of Angel, standing off to the side...Hey...Romanic opp at twelve o'clock...she went over... "Hey..."

"Hey...Great party, eh..."

"Nice of you to do this for him...Covering the expenses and all..." "Eh, well...Sort of a relative...And a valued member of the firm..." Angel nodded...

"So...Angel..." she smiled at him, taking an arm... "You know, Willow told me she was fooling around on a lazy afternoon a couple of weeks ago and thought she might have found a cure for your curse..."

Oh?...

"Yeah...So...Maybe..."

"Well, Buffy...Actually I got a cure out of the W-H vaults six months ago...I'm Angelis-free and happiness optimal as of six months yesterday as a matter of fact..."

Oh...

"Yeah...I've just been trying to decide if I should wait for Cordelia to wake up or try another resurrection for Darla-we got a syphilis cure all set...But since Cordy seems to have decided on the peace of Heaven, I thought I'd give Darla a seance call and see how she'd feel about getting together again..."

Oh...

"Yeah...Will's inspired me...It's high time I gave up the brooding and remembered I'm an innocent victim too..."

As was my dear Darla, of course...he nodded... "And of course she's my boy's mother...It might be time for us to come together again as a real family..."

Uh-huh...Buffy nodded...

So...Harmony noted to the newly souled Drusilla...Still a bit uncertain and confused in the new world her soul restoration, at William's urging to Angel, had left her... "I was right...William did the 'Laurie' thing and took the other sister..."



Like in "Little Women"...she explained to the puzzled Dru...Oh... "See, just before Will went to Europe to see Buffy, he told us he knew he was the 'Laurie' in this story...And didn't expect to win his Buffy..."

"Yes, I just read that one..." Dru smiled wanly... "I'd died before it was written so I'd missed it before...That's very sad about poor Mr. Walthrop...I thought though..." she eyed Botty... "That's not the Slayer person?..."

"Robot copy...Very nicely upgraded though..." Harm noted...

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