"Kind Hearts and Vampiral Fangs..."



Summary: Just a lil' speculative fun...And a chance to feature Jonathan in a starring role, a hair different from my usual for him...

In an AU S5 Warren discovers the "cerebral depressor" before inventing his robogirls...With serious consequences...

(And why am I writing another one with five outstanding?...God knows, sometimes ya just got go with what pops in your head during a dull wait for a gel to run...)

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Archived at the Cicelyverse page of the Buffy Rebecca verse, www.geocities.com/buffyrebecca/Cicelypg.html

***



"He'll be here soon..."Andrew noted, eyeing Warren nervously as the pudgy inventor fussed over his latest toy...Jonathan standing a bit apart eyeing his fellow nerds...

"He said no progress and we're...." I know, dammit!...Warren fumed...

"But it's not like I have instant access to supplies these days, ya know..." he glanced round the room...A large marble slab in the center, bronze plaques on the walls...

"But...Warren...He's our sire..." Andrew continued, a definite whine...

"... 'but Warreeeeen...He's our siiirrre'..." Mears mimicked...Glaring at his partner...His involuntary partner...And cryptmate...

Damn geeks...he cursed inwardly...They had to stop by the night Spike followed me home after I tried out the depressor on that Doublemeat counter girl...What was her name?...Katrina?...

And they had to boast they could get the bugs out of the damn thing after she left...Fortunately with just a mysterious headache...Then come up with the bright idea that we could deactivate that damn bastard of a vampire's behavioral chip for a time using a jamming field...

Worst of all...They had to be right on that one...Leaving Spike eager to test out his newly-regained prowess...

On us...

And to decide all of three of us were of potential use to him...Damn...

Immortality might be rather neat if he wasn't likely to spend it trapped with these two...

"He's still upset about the failure with the chip..." Andrew added... "I could see it in his eyes last time he came..."

"Whadaya talkin' about?...He said he'd smash in our skulls if we ever failed him again like that!..."

He did...? Andy stared...Oh...

Guess I was kinda lost in those beautiful eyes which held so much unspoken...



"Guys..." Jonathan sighed to them, sucking a bit on a blood bag...Spike having provided his "r&d team"with a more or less steady blood supply...Naturally assuming his boys wouldn't last ten minutes outside their crypt...

"I don't think this is a good idea...Buffy is the Slayer...We are vampires...We piss her off and put ourselves high on her A list of vamps to dust and we are in deep do-do..."

"Not if we pull this off..." Warren smirked... "And who says we have to surrender control of our life-sized Slayer doll to dear ole 'Dad'..."

"I don't like the idea of us...Or Spike...Taking her...Guys, she saved my life..."

Funny...Warren eyed him... Ya look preety dead to me, Sparky...

"You know what I mean, Mears...I just don't like the idea of her being slave to the three of us...Or him..."

Awwwww...Gee, Sparky...That's so human of you..."Whadya think, Andy...Has our boy gone and found hisself a soul or what?..."

"Our sire lord has set us a task, Jonathan..." Andrew pulled himself up with dignity... "And it's our Duty not to fail him..."

Again...he did not say...

"Besides...If he gets his Buffy...And can keep her alive, his enslaved servant and significant other...We are assured of Immortal life with no Slayers and their stakes in our faces..."

"We'll be living as gods, Sparky...Bloodsucking Gods!..." Warren chimed in...

"Who can't even leave their room by day?..." Jonathan frowned...

Eh, a minor hassle...Warren waved a hand...Easily dealt with once we get our hands on the Slayer and she starts obediently feeding us info from her clueless Watcher and his council...

"Gonna take some definite doin with that piece of crap to let her function with friends and family..." Jonathan eyed the depressor... "It's left every female we've tested...Vamp or human...With the mentality of a pond snail..."

"I've improved that feature...It's just a matter of retraining Buffy to play herself with friends and family...And if she's anything like the girl I've seen at Sunnydale High...She's not that complex a personality..."

And remember, fanged Jon-man...Warren eyed him... Spike's chip doesn't provide protection to us anymore...He can tear us apart if he chooses...

Yeah...Andrew noted...Somewhat admiringly...

William the Bloody...My sire...he sighed within...

If only he could tolerate hanging with these two creeps for more than five minutes when he comes to us, seeking help with his noble plot to avenge himself on that wicked Slayer who's humiliated him so...Often...

"Gee, Sparky..." Warren sneered... Adjusting the depressor's master controller... "I'd've thought you'd fall over like a tun of bloodsmeared bricks for Spike's little romantic quest..."

"I don't like the idea of seeing Buffy in his hands...Or the three of ours..." Jonathan sighed... "It just doesn't seem right to me...Even as a member of Spike's kind..."

"Kind hearts and vampiral fangs don't mix, Jon-boy...Didn't they tell you that back in vamp school?...In the 2.3 seconds you had before you became the proud young vamp of the world you are today?..."



"There's always room for a little kindness, Mears...And I told ya, I like Buffy Summers...I don't wanna see Spike humiliate her..."

Nice guys finish dust...Warren shook his head...

"Besides...Jon..." Andrew couldn't keep the sigh out of his voice... "We all know Spike's in love with that murderous blonde bitch..."

"And some of us know why..." Warren smiled...

What?...Andrew stared...

"But...It's the chip...You said it was perfectly reasonable that he'd develop such feelings after time..."

"That was before..." Warren grinned at Jonathan...

"Before...?" Andrew stared...

"Before I decided you didn't the Immortal balls to handle such privilege info..."

But...I'm part of the pride...Member of the team...Andy blinked...

"And I'll kill ya if you don't tell me..." he donned demon-face...

Ooooh...Scary demon...Warren waved hands in mock fright...

"And we're dead, dope...Remember?..."

"Well...I mean...I'll dust ya..." Andrew corrected...

"You and what army of pure-bred vamps?..." Warren sneered...Taking face himself...

"Guys..." Jonathan shook his head... "There's no time for this...Spike'll be here...And ready to dust all of us...In a few minutes..."

"Right..." Warren resumed human face... "And if you two clowns'd settle down, I'll be able to finish this and we can start Operation Buffy the Vampire's Slayer..."

And...If we hang tight...Together...Maybe see that some of the chips fall into our laps instead of our dear sire's...he noted...Uh-huh...Jonathan rolled his eyes...

"And in time...We could take those chips...And strike out on our own...As a sort of... 'Trio'...Of Evil..."

Catchy name, eh?...he grinned...

I knew Warren loved...Hanging with us...Andrew thought happily...Nodding...

"Really?..." A dry voice from the crypt door... "And what particular chips were you planning on keeping from me...?" Spike stepped in...Eyeing his "science team"...

"Heh, hey...Hiya, sir..." Warren nervously smiled... "Just finishing off the secret weapon..."

***

"Boys..." Spike eyed them...And the cerebral depressor...

"This had Goddamn-well better work...And work well...And I mean longer than your ill-fated...For you especially...Attempts with my chip..."



"We told you, sir..." Warren noted with a servile tone... "We had no way of knowing the chip would automatically compensate for jamming signals within thirty minutes..."

"Considering you lot are still not in a funeral urn...I'd say I handled your show of incompetence pretty damned well, lad..." he glared...

"Yes, sir...And we're all grateful...Right, fellas?..." Warren eyed the others...Who nodded...Though Jonathan eyed Spike carefully...

"And we have succeeded...We just have to be sure the system has enough power to hold down the Slayer...She's got a high metabolic rate, you know...And her alpha wave signature..."

Spare me the geek details...Spike waved a hand... "Buffy is depressed about ole Joyce...and this 'Glory' character I tole you about...I want to see her happy and at my feet...Shortly...Got it?..."

Mears eyed the guys...Spike came over, lifting him with one hand...

"This won't kill you, Warren but it still hurts...And I've become rather good with wood...Do...you ...get...me?..."

Yes...Warren choked...Goooot youuu...

Spike lowered him...

"We'll be ready by tonight...As planned...Correct?..."

"Oh, yeah...Just gotta give the thing a full charge...It's been discharging a lot for some reason..." Warren frowned, eyeing the unit... "But the extra insulation I've added..."

Yeah, yeah... "Just be ready when Buf goes on Patrol tonight...And you can all be ushers at our wedding..."

Wedding?...Andrew looked downcast...

Wedding...Jonathan frowned a bit...

"We'll be ready...Ummn...If we could have your permission...Sir...?...To vacate now that it's sunset...Just to recharge the thing properly off a power line...?"

"I could stay..." Jonathan noted... "Sorta as a hostage..."

"Great idea, Sparky...See, sir...You'll have Jon here as our hostage...And if we don't return on time..."

Why him?...Andrew thought, annoyed...

"What are you talking about Mears?...None of you three gives a damn if I rip the others' guts apart and decorate this room with them?..." Spike sighed... "Still, I suppose Jonathan could help me track you two down a hair faster...And he is the least annoying of you lot..."

"No playing 'Lord of Sunnydale', Mears...And no killing humans...I don't want anything to interfere with tonight...Charge up your toy and come back before Buffy's Patrol time...Understand...?"

Yes, sir...Absolutely sir...Warren hastily grabbed the depressor and headed out, Andrew somewhat reluctantly following...Giving a last long sigh as he headed out the crypt door...

"Come on, you moron..." Warren dragged him out...

***

"Well, what's on the telly?...." Spike went over to the TV set...HDTV, naturally...

Hmmn...Seinfeld...I dunno...Jerry's just a bit too cynical sometimes for my taste...he noted...Ah... "Gilmore Girls"...

Jonathan coming over to take a seat as Spike did so...

"So...How's the underworld treatin' you these days, Levinson?..." he asked, watching the screen... "I've of expected you to be running this lil' outfit by now...I must say, I'm a wee bit disappointed in you, Jon..."

"I prefer to see how things sort out...You and Buffy Summers for instance...Before I start having to take responsibility for things with these guys..." Jonathan replied...

Why can't my Buf have wealthy grandparents who can't wait to throw money her way?...Spike frowned at the set... Poor Joyce could sure use the help these days...he noted...Turning to Jonathan...

"So...You prefer to avoid responsibility...For now?...Meaning you think Mears' lil' super weapon is a pile of...?"

"No, the depressor works...I've seen it work...And if he's souped it up properly...It should even take on the Slayer..." he paused...

"Permission to speak freely, Mr. Levinson..." Spike grinned... "No, not the purple polka dots!...Girl, a little sense..." he called to the screen...

"You object to my latest plan to deal with our Slayer?..."

"It's not my place...But..."

"Ah...An Unman of the twentieth century...You object to my turning Buffy Summers into my love poodle, I take it?...Would prefer a nice, clean kill?..."

Believe me, Johnny...I've tried...Besides...he paused...

"Things are different now?..." Jonathan finished...

"Perhaps...Maybe..." Spike frowned... "I don't know..." he waved a hand and rose, pacing...

"You're the one who objects to this scheme, William..." Jonathan eyed him...

Spike stopped, staring... "Mate...If you knew the number of times...The ways...I have tried to..."

"But this is different...This isn't a 'nice, clean kill'...This is humiliation, enslavement...Rape..."

"Hardly a problem for Spike..." Spike waved a hand... "And as an Immortal...I'd say this beats the alternative whatever your little modern sensibilities may tell you...And one way...Or the other...I am gonna have that girl...Either as my girl...Somehow...And this right now seems the only likely way to date her...Or if I have to..."

"Kill her?..." Jonathan smiled... "Maybe...If you ever have a really good day...But then who knows better than you, William that there is an afterlife?...That death, if the soul is free and safe, means nothing..."

And something tells me...he grinned...The closer you get to Buffy...The less likely killing her is ever gonna be an option for you...

"But...Enslave her?...Humiliate her?...For years, maybe for Eternity..." he shook his head... "Not you..."

"Really, mate?...And why is that...?"

"Because, Mr. Walthrop...You...Whatever part of your soul that has hung on Spike like grim Death itself since 1880...couldn't do that to your own wife..."



Spike stared at him...Wife...?

"I did some checking after you turned us, sire..." the little vamp smiled... "Though Warren was curious about you and Buffy even before you killed us...You married Cicely Addams of London, England on March 11, 1880, just two days before your death on the 13th..."

"Cicely...?"

How...

"The Watchers' Council kept extensive records on you, William...Under tight but obviously not foolproof security..."

Spike stared...Rose...But from his pose, clearly indicated for his 'offspring' to continue...

"Cicely was the Slayer in 1880, a great one...She never told you and she drove you away with the help of a vengeance demon after marrying you when she realized taking you had sentenced you to death or worse...Unfortunately, she never counted on her own Council betraying the two of you and handing you over to Drusilla..."

"Buffy...?"

"As you suspected almost from the moment you met her, Spike...She is Cicely Addams, reborn...Reincarnated, to find you, I'm sure..."

"I...Don't...Be..."

"Don't believe it?...Then go ahead and turn your beloved wife into your personal Barbie doll...After you dust me..."

"No problem, pal..." Spike grabbed the little vamp, raising him up off the floor...Staring at him...As Jonathan quietly stared back in his grip...

He lowered the little vamp...Released him...Still staring at him...But seeing someone else...

"Cicely..." he breathed...And gave his companion a sardonic little grin...

"Very gallant, mate...You her reincarnated cousin Henry or something?..."

She saved me a lot, Spike...Jonathan eyed him solemnly...I care about her...

Warren and Andrew re-entered the room...Ok...Warren nodded, raising the depressor to view...One Super-charged cerebral depressor...

"Now all we gotta do is go find our dear Slayer..."

"Just a mo..." Spike raised a hand...

"Well?..." Vamp Warren glared... "What?...You want another test?..."

No...He shook his head... "But I'm afraid, mate...After thinking it all over...I've decided to terminate our little deal..."

What?...Warren fumed...

"And with extreme prejudice..."

No!!...Vamps Warren and Andrew desperately put up hands as Spike tore them to pieces in seconds...Jonathan watching from his corner...



"Well..." Spike sighed at the remains... "I don't say I believe your little tale...But it looks like you may have been right about me...I guess...For whatever reason...And I think I'll be spending some time finding it out...You're right, mate...Something inside me couldn't do it to her..."

Jonathan nodded quietly and the blonde vampire went to the door, pausing to turn back even as he opened it...Struggling with the strange word... 'Thanks'...on his lips...

The door swung wide, revealing a blank-eyed Buffy standing in front of it...She immediately and deftly rammed a stake into Spike, dusting him...

"But I could..." Jonathan coldly grinned at the ashes...As Buffy stood, waiting...

"So much for William Soames Walthrop aka William the Bloody...Nice job, Slayer...Thanks..."

"I love you, Master..." she said quietly...Blinking at the settling ashes...He waved her in...

"We'll have to work on your personality some, Buffy...If I'm going to use you to rule Sunnydale and the world...You'll have to fool your mother and your friends for a bit yet..."

"I will fool them, Master...I love you Master..." she stood just inside, blinking at the dust on the floor...

"Yes..." he stretched expansively... "I think we'll see if we can't get a little of the ole Summers back...Consider it an acting role to please me...You want to please me, right, Buffy?..."

"I love you...Master..."

"Always and forever...From now on...I know, Buf...Well, lets give our hero and my ole schoolpals a burial at sea, shall we?...Just get the broom over there, willya?..."

William...a faint whisper...As she stared a moment longer at the dust...

"I love you...Jonathan..." she nodded and went to where the broom stood...

***




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